by Alexandra Rutkowski
Your timing’s such a beautiful thing, Lord. And I wouldn’t want to speed it up for anything. I journaled this last year on Valentine’s Day, but every word rings truer still. This is my prayer:
There are mornings that I wake up and am completely overwhelmed by the reality of my Savior’s love for me. I sing, sometimes at the top of my lungs, to Him, often frustrated that I can’t find the words to even begin to express what I want to to Him. There are days that I cannot help but run outside, arms outstretched, dancing under the stars, filled with overflowing joy and childlike wonder of the loving God above me… and next to me. He’s dancing with me.
As for Valentine’s Day… it comes and goes each year. Roses, cards, romantic dinners… they are beautiful, but they pass. But for me, the holiday reminds me of the one thing stays forever- His love. The love that will remain a beautiful mystery to me this side of heaven. So this Valentine’s Day, I know Who I want to spend it with. I want to spend it in His presence- in His overwhelmingly beautiful presence. I want to soak it in. I want to sing to Him, to bring Him joy, and to bring Him pleasure. I want to spend the time immersed in His presence and His Word. And.. I want to spend that time with Him praying for my husband.
I’ve been praying for my husband for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory of it was when my mom saw us off before the bus came in elementary school and we would pray together each morning. At that time, the idea of marriage seemed an eternity away, but when I got curious and asked, she told me why she prayed. I began to understand. And I’ve prayed for him ever since because I love him. I pray for God’s hand over his life and that of his family, for his heart, for his walk with God, for protection against temptation and the work of the enemy, and for whatever it is that he’s going through every day. I pray that he would love the Lord infinitely more than he could ever love me. I love him for all his imperfections and flaws. I pray for the family we’ll have, that we would be a family of worshippers that would love and serve God and others selflessly.
Meanwhile, I am earnestly asking God to mold me into the woman that he will need. And I’ve got a long way to go. I want to use this time for Him to work on my heart and to help me become everything my husband will need me to be. To teach me how to love the way He loves. To clothe me in strength and dignity, wisdom, and love. I want to bring my husband joy and endless laughter; to love and bring him pleasure. And to stand by his side forever. To somehow be worthy of him. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman and wife, a woman after God’s own heart. I cannot wait to run after God’s plans for us together. To seek and honor Him together. What a beautiful thing.
But this isn’t me or him, whoever he might be. It’s about the Writer of our story. It’s about the One who’s orchestrating everything precisely in His perfect timing. And while I want to bring this for the Lord on this day, I want to spend time with the Great Writer. To bring Him joy and to just spend the time with Him. Because truth is, this Valentine’s Day, I am in love. It’s a divine romance, a beautiful love story between my Savior and I.
That’s why I love Valentine’s Day.