by Alexandra Rutkowski


I love to dream. As someone who sleeps about three to four hours a night, I treasure every ounce of it. I love escaping to an imaginary, sometimes downright crazy, world where animatronic raccoon-hybrid-men seek to take over the world one Wegmans at a time, where 7:55 Koine Greek classes are strictly forbidden by law, where closet doors in the woods lead to Renaissance era jousting contests, and where I have an adventure and task to complete each time. I love it. I love the whimsy, adventure, and freedom. Anything can happen. Ah, how I love to dream.

I’ve always dreamt, rather vividly, but obviously, our minds don’t keep every one of them. So this year, I decided to try something new. A journal. Recording my dreams every night the instant I awake. It started as a project for my kids. I want them to be able to have a book of all my crazy adventures to enjoy. I leave either it, or any paper, as well as a pen next to my pillow, and if I awaken in the middle of the night, no matter how disoriented I am, I write down as much as I have strength to do. Sometimes I’ll awake with a mere five words written on my hand, sometimes to a 2 page epic story on whatever I left next to my bed (lesson: never leave your income tax report next to your bed), and sometimes, well, it’ll be utterly preposterous. I love waking up to these stories.

But I’ve given my mind to the Lord, even as I sleep. I’ve given Him that time. And sometimes, it’s the most clear beautiful thing. It’s crazy how He can speak through them. But a few days ago I was just browsing through all my stories since January 1, and wow. Wow. Wow. They’re crazy. They’re magical. They’re adventurous. But you know what else? They all… tie in together. They all communicate the same message. Over and over and over again. And it’s so specific. I had just missed it. But looking back at them all together, it became so clear. Even in all those silly little adventures, He’s speaking. I love that.

It’s crazy how in that time, He’s prepared me for things. He’s given me things to speak. He’s given me boldness. And He’s molding me. While I sleep! He knows I’m a dreamer and I’ll take every chance at an adventure, and He uses that. He spoils me with that beauty. Ah, how I love to dream.