by Alexandra Rutkowski

There’s a pastor, you see. A loving, wonderful husband as well. He holds his wife in the highest regard, and speaks of her highly to all whom he knows. He praises her and tells of her great beauty and admirable qualities, often explaining how unworthy he is of her.
But then he goes home after a long hard day… and speaks no more than a few words to her. He doesn’t mean to do this… but he does. For the few moments that he spends with her, it is usually spent asking for something. But he can’t see that he is neglecting her.  She’s hurting and wishes he could see that. She doesn’t want his words and his praises to others- she wants him. She wants his time. She just wants to be with him. She feels so unloved. She stands at the door waiting for him, but he passes her by and carries on with his work. After all, he has so much to do, doesn’t he?

Sad, isn’t it? But isn’t this how we treat God a lot of the time? I mean, we can talk about God all the time, talk of His greatness, and how He is impacting our lives and blessing us… we can do all this, and it’ll make us feel good. It makes us feel satisfied for a moment. But we’re missing the point. We can talk all we want, and praise Him to others, but God doesn’t want that… He wants us. He wants to spend time with us. He wants our time. He just wants to be with us. And I’m not judging, because I’m guilty of this much of the time. I’m working on it. There’s one thing that I have to keep reminding myself: ministry time isn’t God time. And a love of theology is a very different thing from a love of God. God isn’t someone who’s just desperately begging to come in. This is an idea of God that’s popularized nowadays and it completely diminishes His sovereignty. That’s not the way it is… but He is waiting. He loves us, and He is patiently waiting. It’s a painful picture, really. We’re like the husband who speaks so much of his wife… but not to her and with her- the wife that so desperately wants to spend time with her husband, her first love.

Have we forgotten our first Love and not even realized it?